When I think about leadership, most people assume it starts with managing others teams, strategies, or vision. But in my experience, leadership begins somewhere far more personal: with the habits we practice every single day.
The truth is, before you can lead others with clarity and strength, you must learn how to lead yourself. And that often means learning how to break a bad habit, whether it’s procrastination, perfectionism, negative self-talk, or the subtle patterns that quietly erode discipline and energy.
I’ve battled my own destructive cycles over the years. I’ve seen how they can hold back not just personal growth but also the people and organizations I serve. And what I’ve learned is this: breaking bad habits isn’t about raw willpower. It’s about awareness, structure, and replacing impulse with intention.
Why Learning How to Break a Bad Habit Matters for Leaders
Bad habits may feel personal, but their impact is never private. As leaders, our patterns ripple outward.
When I delayed tough decisions early in my career, I thought I was buying time. In reality, I was modeling procrastination. When I leaned too hard into perfectionism, I thought I was raising standards. In truth, I was spreading anxiety.
That’s when it became clear: learning how to break a bad habit is inseparable from becoming a better leader. Our private disciplines or lack of them, set the tone for our teams.
I explored a similar theme in my article, What Motivates You? How to Discover—and Sustain—Your Inner Drive as a Leader. The motivation that drives us forward and the habits that hold us back are two sides of the same coin. Both shape how we show up and how others experience our leadership.
Step 1: Self-Awareness, Shine a Light on the Habit
The first step in how to break a bad habit is awareness. You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.
I often ask myself:
- What triggers this habit?
- What am I avoiding when I fall into it?
- How is it shaping the people around me?
I remember catching myself late at night scrolling endlessly through my phone, convincing myself it was “unwinding.” In reality, I was avoiding reflection and robbing myself of rest. That moment of honesty was uncomfortable but it was the beginning of change.
Step 2: Define the Cost
Every habit carries a cost. Some are obvious: lost time, drained energy, missed deadlines. Others are hidden: eroded trust, reduced confidence, or opportunities quietly slipping away.
When I coach leaders, I ask them: What is this habit costing you? And what is it costing the people who rely on you?
The process of how to break a bad habit becomes much more powerful when you measure the loss clearly. When the cost is undeniable, change moves from optional to urgent.
Step 3: Build Structure, Not Just Willpower
Willpower is fragile. Habits are wired into us too deeply to rely on grit alone. The breakthrough comes from building structures that support better behavior.
For me, that meant creating boundaries that made my destructive habits harder to repeat and healthier ones easier to follow.
When I realized I was overcommitting, I built a structure: I never gave an immediate “yes.” Every request required 24 hours of consideration. That small boundary shifted my decision-making from impulse to intention.
As leaders, structure will always outlast willpower.
Step 4: Replace the Habit With Intention
It’s not enough to stop a bad habit; you must replace it with something stronger. Otherwise, the empty space will pull you back in.
- Procrastination can be replaced with micro-actions, small steps that create momentum.
- Perfectionism can be replaced with a commitment to progress over flawless outcomes.
- Negative self-talk can be replaced with intentional affirmations rooted in truth and growth.
When I shifted from perfectionism to valuing progress, my team didn’t just move faster, they became more creative. I wasn’t modeling unattainable flawlessness anymore; I was modeling resilience.
Step 5: Practice Compassion and Consistency
Habits don’t change overnight. You will slip. You will revert. That’s not failure, it’s part of the process.
The final step in how to break a bad habit is to lead yourself with both discipline and compassion. Hold yourself accountable, but don’t weaponize shame against yourself.
The leaders I admire most are not flawless, they’re consistent. They get back up quickly. They treat themselves with the same steadiness and grace they extend to others.
In one of my Forbes articles, I wrote about hope as a hidden leadership power. That same principle applies here: hope and optimism are essential when changing habits. They remind us that growth is always possible, even when setbacks happen.
Why This Work Matters
When I wrote Leadership Orbit, I wanted to show that leadership isn’t just about managing others, it’s about mastering yourself. The process of learning how to break a bad habit is the same process that builds resilience, clarity, and strength in leadership.
Habits shape our identity. They influence our teams. They ultimately define the legacy we leave.
If you want to lead others better, start here. Lead yourself with discipline, compassion, and clarity. Because leadership is not about pretending to be perfect, it’s about practicing growth in public and in private.
And if you want to explore this more deeply, I invite you to pick up a copy of Leadership Orbit. In it, I share more about how to build leadership from the inside out, starting with the habits that either hold us back or set us free.
