Some of the most defining leadership lessons of my life didn’t come from classrooms or corner offices. They came from loss, from feedback that stung, from the quiet moments after failure when I had to decide whether to get bitter or get better.
I’ve spent decades building companies, leading teams, and navigating seasons that tested everything I believed about leadership. But the most transformative moments weren’t when things were going right, they were when everything fell apart and I had to rebuild who I was as a leader and a man.
Here are five leadership lessons that reshaped how I lead, how I make decisions, and ultimately, how I live.
1. Truth and Transparency Are Non-Negotiable
Early in my career, I thought being a good leader meant being in control. I’ve since learned it means being honest, even when it costs you.
Years ago, I was part of a company that faced a massive crisis. Everything on the outside looked fine, but on the inside, truth was being buried. When I realized what was really happening, I had two choices: protect my comfort or protect my integrity. I chose truth.
It wasn’t glamorous. It meant hard conversations, whistleblowing, and losing almost everything. But it gave me the one thing no title or paycheck can buy clarity.
Truth liberates. Transparency disarms fear. And when fear disappears, you can move forward freely, powerfully, purposefully.
That experience became the heartbeat of how I lead today. Whether it’s at home with my family, inside Allevio, or in partnership with others, truth and transparency always come first. Without them, nothing else works.
2. The “Who” Matters More Than the “What”
I’ve worked on Wall Street, built startups, and sat in rooms where billion-dollar ideas were on the table, but I’ve learned that the idea is never what determines success. The people do.
You can have the best plan in the world, but if you’re surrounded by the wrong people, those who drain energy, resist growth, or hide truth. It doesn’t matter how great your strategy is. You’ll burn out before you break through.
Conversely, when you find the right people those who want to progress, who bring optimism, who tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable you can take on anything.
That realization changed how I hire, how I partner, and even how I choose friends. The “who” determines everything else.
It’s the same idea I explored more deeply in a recent reflection What Does Leadership Mean to You? My Personal Take on Influence, Integrity, and Impact where I talked about how influence without integrity always collapses on itself. Leadership isn’t about the spotlight. It’s about the people standing next to you when the lights go out.
3. Stillness Is a Strategy
I used to wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. I believed that if I wasn’t grinding every hour, I wouldn’t be leading.
But over time, I learned that stillness is not the opposite of progress; it’s what gives it power.
The best decisions I’ve ever made came in quiet moments of reflection. Early morning runs with my wife. Quiet prayer before a big decision. Pausing long enough to hear my own thoughts instead of just reacting to noise.
Stillness gives you something the world can’t perspective. It’s where you remember why you started, who you’re becoming, and what actually matters.
I’ve found that the leaders who sustain impact over time aren’t the loudest or fastest. They’re the ones who know how to pause.
4. Failure Isn’t Final, It’s Foundational
When I left Wall Street to lead a company I believed in, I bet everything my time, reputation, and finances. Within months, it all collapsed.
At the time, it felt like it was the end. But looking back, that failure became the foundation for everything that came next: my book Leadership Orbit, the creation of Allevio, and the mindset I live by today.
In my conversation on YouTube, I shared how that season taught me that thriving doesn’t mean avoiding pain, it means moving forward through it. When you’ve lost everything and realize you’re still standing, fear loses its grip.
That’s the beauty of failure. It forces you to redefine success not as perfection, but as progress. It teaches you that every season, even the ones that hurt, are just chapters in a longer story.
And when you can see your setbacks that way, they stop defining you and start refining you.
5. Leadership Is About People, Not Power
If I had to summarize every lesson I’ve learned into one truth, it would be this: leadership is about people.
Titles fade. Markets shift. Companies rise and fall. But the way you make people feel the belief you help them find in themselves, that’s what lasts.
I’ve worked with incredible teams over the years, from fast-paced trading floors to early-stage startups. And the leaders who made the deepest impact weren’t the ones demanding authority, they were the ones creating belonging.
Leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about taking care of those in your charge. It’s about helping others grow, even when it means stepping back so they can step forward.
When I look at the mission of Allevio -to empower healing anywhere- I see leadership in the same light. It’s about empowering people to become who they’re capable of being. Whether that’s a patient finding relief, a provider finding purpose, or a team member finding meaning, leadership is the vehicle that makes healing possible.
What These Leadership Lessons Continue to Teach Me
The truth is, I’m still learning. Leadership isn’t a finish line, it’s a lifelong apprenticeship in humility, self-awareness, and courage.
Every challenge, every failure, every honest conversation adds another layer. These five leadership lessons have become my compass:
- Truth over comfort.
- People over power.
- Stillness over speed.
- Growth over perfection.
- Integrity over everything.
And if I’ve learned anything through all of this, it’s that leadership and life aren’t separate pursuits, they’re the same journey.
I explore that idea more deeply in my book, Leadership Orbit: Infinite Potential, Sustainable Growth, where I share how systems, purpose, and integrity intersect to help leaders build sustainable momentum in every part of life.
Because the ultimate goal of leadership isn’t just to build great companies, it’s to build great people, starting with ourselves.
And when we lead that way with truth, stillness, and heart we don’t just lead better. We live better.
